We went in on Wednesday the 10th to have the CT done. Both Taylor and I felt quite confident being armed with God's comfort. On Thursday, we met with Dr. George to get the results of the CT and then planned on heading on over to chemo. We had a kink in the plan!

Dr. George came in and told us that the chemo had not been working and that there were actually MORE tumors now that before! YIKES!!! We had to find a plan of attack. Dr. George gave us the option of one more chemotherapy and then told us we would be looking at trial drugs.

The other news that we got was that my left lung is deflated almost completely. There is a strawberry sized tumor blocking the valve of my lung. We would be admitted on Monday the 15th and see the "Cowboy Pulmonologist" to see if he would be able to reinflate my lung.

We left Gainesville and headed home to our babies to digest the information and make our plan of attack. We had a great weekend with the girls and each other.  Man is our life amazing or what? I have the greatest husband and children on Earth!

On Sunday afternoon the big girls headed to Mobile with Aunie and Uncle Chris to spend the weekend celebrating Mardi Gras. Logan got to spend the night with Aunt Jess, Uncle Chan and the boys. Man I hope she is nice to them!  Taylor and I headed to Gainesville with the intent to spend Valentine's Day evening having dinner and a movie together. When we finally arrived in Gainesville we spent a few minutes scaring Mom and Aunt Carol who had already checked into their hotel room right next to ours! :) We ended up spending the evening on the couches talking and catching up. We had a blast.

Monday morning we were up and at them really early! We arrived and were assigned a room after about an hour. We met with several doctors throughout the day to get our plans laid out. Dr. Jance is the pulmonologist that will doing the procedure and plans on completing it on Wednesday morning. There are several things that could occur so I am not going to go into all of the what ifs and will update you on this more after the procedure.

So, for now the priority is to get the lung open, then we will take a month or so to recover and then will begin a new form of chemo. We have decided to go to MD Anderson for a second or third or fourth opinion during our time off of chemo. I will update you all after the procedure.

I still feel confident that God has this under control and I should not fret. My faith in God is unwavering and grows more and more each day. Please continue to pray for us as well as my brother, Beau in Afghanistan who is fighting for OUR freedom! Love to you all!

Well, this week has been fabulous for me. I feel so great! We got to celebrate Londyn's fifth birthday with all of her friends and our family. She and over 20 of her friends and cousins ran through the house for a good two hours laughing and playing. We also got to see Taylor's all time favorite NFL team win the Super Bowl, yay, GO SAINTS! After a full day Saturday and Sunday I was worn out on Monday and haven't strayed too far from the couch today!

We leave tomorrow for Gainesville for my first CT scan since chemo began. I am hoping to hear that the chemo has worked so well that we will no longer need it. I'm not asking for much am I? hee hee. I would love if I were done with chemo! How amazing would that be!?! We will get results on Thursday morning and then I have a treatment right after.

So, my request at this point is for prayers for the results to be clear from any tumors! I will update you all after my appointment about how things are going!

Okay, we have survived the nightmare of chemo treatment number two. I did get down to 104 pounds, but now have my appetite back! I have my appointment scheduled for January 21st. I will meet with Dr. George or his PA Scott and then head over for infusion.

Before the next infusion we get to celebrate! Baby girl, Logan turned one on January 13th! She was my lifesaver that helped me discover cancer and quite possibly saved my life. We celebrated with all of our family here at home and loved watching her prissy self NOT touch her cake! :) All three of my girls are such an amazing gift from God to me! I am so blessed!

But, of course there is a kink in the plan! I get a call from Becky, who tells me that Dr. George just received some of my bloodwork back and that I am in dire need of iron. A normal rating for iron, according to Becky is low at 42 and high normal at 135. My iron level is a 21. NO WONDER I HAVE NO ENERGY! I finally have a reason for all the fatigue that I have been feeling. I also have an explanation for my craving of raw potatoes, ice, and other oddities that are all signs of anemia! Since my levels are so low they are requesting that I get an infusion rather than take iron orally. After agreeing to the procedure I begin investigating it online. Okay, now I am scared! The biggest risk is anaphylactic shock... I'm sure that is misspelled! This is when your body has a severe allergic reaction and they TRY to pull you out of it! Additional woes of the infusion are flu like symptoms for a week afterwards and a few others. Since I know this is something that my body really needs I proceed forward and get my appointment for January 20th for the iron infusion that will take 6 hours.

Land decides that it is time to talk to a nutritionist about my weight loss after seeing it deplete so rapidly. He discovers a shake that is 600 calories and a shot of calories that is 330..... so, my new desert? I have a chocolate shake that tastes exactly like chocolate milk and is 930 calories!! The weight should begin to pack on now!!

On the morning of the 20th Taylor and I head to Gainesville after kissing our babies good bye and leaving them with Aunie and Chris to get to school. We arrive at the infusion center just in time. I begin getting the iron infusion that does not hurt at all and I do not have any reaction to at all. I do however, get some great premeds including that Benadryl that DOES put me to sleep this time! Yay! Six hours is a long time to lie in a bed with an IV hooked to you if you are awake the entire time. After the infusion I am informed that I will get a shot of EPO to boost my platelet count since it is so low as well. I am at a 7 when it should be much higher. The doctors felt the shot was a safer alternative than a transfusion. I will take their opinion since I have no clue! Well, as the time was finishing up I have been anticipating the needle all day. I finally decide it is time so that I can go home (or back to the hotel). When the shot goes in it doesn't hurt, until the meds are administered..... WOW!! That really burned. I was actually shaking to the point that my nurse was in tears giving it to me!

That night I began having severe muscle spasms in my back and felt some serious pain. I went the next day for my third round of chemo right back to Ms. Pat who was always my smiling face in the infusion center! This time before treatment I am weighed and am surprised to say that I am up to 112 after dropping to 104 over the last three weeks! Taylor went down and got me some yummy cold snacks that I could eat during premeds, but not after due to the cold sensitivity.

This time I shared with the nurse and doctors about my 10 hour spree and they decided to give me a three day antinausea med instead of the regular one they give. I received my infusion and decided to spend the night just in case I had another episode like last time. The next morning I awoke to feeling great and ready to head home. Before coming home, we stopped by and bought pants that actually fit me! I did not wear a size 2/4 in high school I don't think?? I have got to gain some more weight!

We came home to our smiling angels and were so happy that the antinausea meds were working. I got to spend the weekend with my family and even got to tell my baby brother goodbye before he heads to Afghanistan next week. I was so glad for the opportunity to be with my family and finally feel good!

However, just like before the glitch was just around the corner. On Monday night, I began vomiting. YUCK! Here we go again! I took my Zofran and an additional drug to stop the vomiting and it did stop four hours later. Now, to weigh myself and hope I didn't lose too much.... well poo, I'm down to 103!

We have our next appointment which will be a CT scan to see if the treatments are working on February 10th. I know that date seems like it is just around the corner but it seems like a century away to me!

Please keep Beau, my baby brother, in your prayers. He is an amazing person whom I am so very proud of!

Round two of chemo was postponed a week due to Christmas Eve falling on my three week interval. I went in on New Years Eve in order to get the infusion at 4 weeks. This time it was Mom's turn to take me down. I would only have my meeting with Dr. George and then the infusion. I did have a new problem though. Since I have been sitting on my hip as opposed to my bottom my back is now completely curved (half moon style). I now weigh not my normal 132 pounds, but a mere 118. I cannot believe that I weigh less than 120! Do you know how long I tried to lose all of that weight?

I begin my appointment in Dr. George's office but Becky is running late so another nurse Mellissa is going to 'hook me up' with my port. She does but uses a different needle and I feel like I have been plugged into literally! OUCH! That really did hurt! After meeting with Dr. George who tells me that it is time that I force feed myself although nothing sounds appetizing to me at all, I make a quick dash for McDonalds before chemo. Since I now know there is a nasty side effect to the Oxalyplatin that will keep me from eating, drinking, touching, breathing, or being in the presence of anything cold for the week following treatment I decide I need a Coke with ice and a parfait! YUM!

After our mad dash across town Mom and I head for the infusion center. I am once again greeted by my smiling friend, Ms. Pat. She remembers my drunken stupor from my first infusion and assures me that things will only be better this time! After telling her that the worse thing that happened to me after the first infusion was the sleeping for 48 hours she begins the treatment. I start with the premeds, then Benadryl, then the oxalyplatin, and then the new drug....dum dum dum.... avastin. Avastin is suppose to attack the cancer cells and cut off their blood supply. Yay! I hope this one works really well!

This time I do not sleep but I know the culprit! I entered "a dark dark place" in my life (as Land describes it), in which I was depressed. I have never been depressed so I had no idea where I was! hee hee! So, upon review of my records Dr. George put me on Zoloft. I had no idea that anti depression meds were speed! Well, once again that is what my body processed them as! I slept from 3am until 6 am for about three weeks and that was all, if I was lucky! I did eventually switch my dosage to a morning dose so that I could sleep once again.

Since the Avastin was the new drug that would be the factor in the healing or lack there of for my wound it was the drug of fear for me. We would not know how my body would react to the drug until after my infusion and the body processed the medication. I came home after my treatment and went right to bed. However, my tranquil healing was quickly altered! Friday morning I woke up and went right to work feeling great. By 10 am I began to feel a little nauseated and went to bed with my nausea medicine. Within 15 minutes of taking the meds I began vomiting. This was my biggest fear! How could I survive this? I am not a person who does well when she is sick! I continued to be sick for the next 10 hours! I lost two pounds of water weight, began slurring my words, became dehydrated, and was rocking in pain in my bed. This was a nightmare! After the ten hours was over the pain, nausea, vomiting and muscle spasms stopped as quickly as they started! Wow!! What a rough day or me, my family, my hero nurse Land, and anyone else who was within ear distance from me. I guess Happy New Year to you!

Now, how will this next treatment go? I am scared to find out!

So, we meet with Dr. George to find out that he is extremely worried about the spots on my lungs. He previously dismissed them as childhood pneumonia scars and was now concerned that they were more since they have doubled in size since July and were now up to the size of a pea. All of this was disclosed to me while poor Rachael was in the room. Bless her heart she was trying her best to stay strong for me and I was watching as I saw the fear grow in her face. I think it was best that she was there since I felt I needed to be strong for her. Dr. George continued on to tell me that chemo was something that I needed to begin as quickly as possible in order to stay ahead of the game. The only catch is that the chemo can and will slow the healing process or cause it to digress to an unhealthy wound. So, now we are in between a rock and a hard place. Dr. George decides it is best to consult with Dr. Huang before starting the chemo to ensure she agrees with his decision.

Before chemo can begin I need to have a port installed. In order to do this I go back to Shands, for the procedure. I was explained the procedure the day before. A small quarter/half dollar shaped plastic piece would be inserted into my right shoulder area. From the plastic piece I would have a tube that would be fed into my artery and down into the largest chamber of my heart. OKAY??!! The next day I go into the procedure room (OR) where they tell me that I will be having the procedure done while I am awake. Hello, have these people ever met me before? There are about ten large screen televisions in the room for them to watch the procedure on but are in my plain sight! There is NO WAY I would be able to lay still for them to do this while I was awake. After explaining my concerns to the residents and attendees I am assured it is 'no big deal' and 'its done all the time.' Once again, they must not know little chicken me. I inform them that before any incision regardless of size is made on my body I prefer to be unconscious! The surgeon who must have read my chart and known how much of a chicken I am asked the nurse to begin administering the meds. Thank you God for a man that knows I would not have a problem getting up from that table if my needs were not met! :) This new attachment was rather gross to me. I remember specifically one night taking a shower and forgetting that I had it and screaming, 'Oh my gosh I touched it!' I was repulsed by the fact that it was attached to my body like some under the skin tattoo that some people choose to get.

Dr. Huang informs me that she is on board for whatever Dr. George thinks is best and that she is sure the wound will heal eventually regardless of how long that might take! YIKES! So, my first chemo is scheduled for Thursday, December 3rd. I would also have a chest X-ray done that day to check the status of the spots in my lungs. I was so nervous the night before I can't even remember going to sleep. I do however, remember the valium that I took on the way to the hospital to get my nerves under control. It didn't help much though! I was so wiped out from the medication I am sure that all nurses in the building thought I was a junkie!! I was terrified to have my port accessed, was it going to hurt? Would I feel it at all? Would the chemo (you know the toxic substance they were going to be injecting into my body via my heart) burn when it went in? These were just a few of my thousand questions I had running through my mind!!

I began in Dr. George's office to have my bloodwork done. Becky, Dr. George's nurse, who knew I was terrified accessed my port and said she would just leave the line in thus insuring I would not have to have it done again. After all the hype and drama I had created it really wasn't that bad after all! :) There was a small needle inserted into the port that felt no worse than an iv needle going in, minus all the digging around they do when they start an iv! From there I went down stairs to have the chest Xray done. Now is when I began wishing that I had not taken the Valium! I do not do well with medications as they usually overreact on my body. This was the case. I was not able to stand for any extended period of time without my legs turning to jelly and I am sure the nurses thought me a lush. I finished up down stairs and it was time to face the music of chemo!

I was taken from one waiting room into a triage room for blood pressure, weight and temp checks then introduced to my nurse, Pat. Ms. Pat quickly became my friend. She understood my fear and was extremely reassuring to me. As she began accessing the port we discovered that the line had clogged. This meant she would have to remove the needle and reapply a new one. OUCH!! I am sure that I called Becky a liar at this point amongst all of my fears! I bit the bullet and allowed her to access the port again with much ease and comfort she did. As each bag was given to me she explained what each was for. First, fluids, then premeds, then Benadryl.... then I don't remember much because I was fast asleep! After several hours of napping I awoke to a friendly smile from Ms. Pat telling me that we were almost finished that the chemo would begin now. I would only get Oxalyplatin for the first round. I am not sure that I spelled that right? To my surprise nothing hurt, I couldn't even feel the meds going in! Yay!!

Now, I get to go home and wait to see how my body reacts. Fortunately, I decide to sleep. I sleep for 48 hours straight and only awoken for food and meds. This isn't too bad after all, or is it? Round two would be coming up on New Years Eve!

So, it was time for surgery, October 19th. Taylor and I went down and spent the night in Gainesville and were joined by my Aunt Carol and Mom as well as his brother and Dad. It was nice to know there were so many there to support Taylor and Mom during my surgery. I got to do the 'prep' (haha) before surgery and was beyond nervous. At 6am the morning of the 19th, we all headed to the hospital. I was moved from one waiting room to another and then finally taken to a 'holding room'. This room was the scary one! I was given my wonderfully flattering blue gown to adorn and asked to lay in a bed. I was one of about 12 people in the room all being prepped for surgery. Some of these people already had their happy drugs and some were like me terrified to look around the room. I was soon given my sedation and that is the last thing I remember. Mom, Taylor and Brother Walt all assure me that they told me goodbye before surgery and even had a prayer. I was oblivious to this fact however! :)

Alot of what happened while I was in surgery is second hand information. For example, Mom was nervous and kept asking how the surgery was going and was told by the doctor to leave her alone and let her do her job.... or something along those lines. My family was told that the surgery would be a five to six hour surgery and it ended up being eight hours, so they got a little ansy in the waiting area!

When I went to recovery I remember nothing about the area, the nurse, who I saw or anything to that effect. I do remember being in my room after recovery and my family being there with me. I woke to a new body function, the colostomy, and lots of pain medication. I do not remember hurting but I do remember the medication! :) I had 32 staples down my abdomen and six in my groin. I was not able to sit or lie flat on my bottom and had to continuously flip from hip to hip. This became easier as the days went by. Dr. Huang came in and let me know they had removed the lymph node in question from my groin as well as several from my rectal area. I would be in the hospital for six days. Just before I was being released I was given a shot of morphine so that the drainage pouch in my abdomen could be removed. I quickly discovered that I am allergic to morphine! After a huge dose of Benadryl and many ugly words spoken to the resident who not so kindly ripped the drainage pouch from my abdomen I was ready to get out of the hospital! On Sunday, October 25th I got to go home. Man I was so ready to be home with my babies and in MY bed!

I was unaware that I was becoming sicker by the day. I was however, losing weight and running a fever of 103. So, back to Shands I go to have the staples removed from my abdomen and groin and allow the surgeon to check on my wound. When I got there and Dr. Huang saw me she immediately started to fill out admission paperwork. I was not aware that I had developed SEVERAL hematomas and was very infected. After she ruptured three hematomas in the office I was moved to a hospital room where she burst several additional hematomas. After a few days of fluids and lots of cleaning I was again released on Saturday, October 31. This time I felt much better and was sure that my recovery was quickly on its way.

After meeting my new home health team I was informed that there was still infection and my fever was not going away so I would be sent back to Shands. Yes, this is my third trip and way more days in the hospital than I care to ever spend again! This time I got to go to the new hospital with private rooms. MUCH better than sharing with with the smokers and the lady who had to use the toilet beside the bed as opposed to the one in the room on the OTHER side of her bed??!! I was readmitted on the 3rd of November and was sent for several additional scans. During this visit it was discovered that I had a large infection mass that wrapped around my tail bone and had to be removed. Time for another surgery. This one would be less invasive as the staples and stitches were already in place!  The infection was removed and I was placed under three additional surgeries to keep the area clean and remove additional problematic areas. I left the hospital this time 10 days later on Friday, November 13th. I was wearing a vac that would pull the drainage from the wound and allow me to heal more quickly. I was informed before leaving the hospital at this stay that there were spots on my lungs that were causing some concern for the chemotherapist, Dr. George (aka Doogie Howser from earlier posts). The spots were present in the scans from July but seemed to have doubled in size to the size of a pea in the recent scans taken in November. This sent a shock wave through our family like no other.

My doctor did not want to send me home without being assured that I had a wound care specialist that could take care of me four hours away. This is when my family met one of our newest additions, Land. He quickly became part of the crew here in our house as he was here three days a week and was keeping Mommy healthy. There were numerous days that he would come in greeted by both dogs and little girls all excited to see him. With Land's guidance we have been able to stay out of the hospital for over two months now, YAY!! Now, it was time to find out if I was ready for chemo.

Where is the happiest place on Earth? DISNEY!! I planned a great trip for the girls full of many surprises! We started out at the Contemporary Resort with our room with a view of Cinderella's Castle. The girls had a ball playing at the parks and at Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party. From Disney we moved on to two days at the Nick Hotel. Wow, what a great place for kids to play! The pools were amazing! We had planned on going to Universal but the girls had such a great time they didn't want to leave the hotel! Too funny!

On the second day of the Nick Hotel, I left the family to play and went back to Gainesville for an appointment with Dr. Huang. During this appointment she completed another exam-ouch! She discovered the tumor was still there although it was ulcerated and burned. It was smaller than originally but was still there. I was hoping for the entire thing to be gone but that just did not happen. I was given a surgery date of October 19th. I also met with a stoma nurse, Jill at this appointment. Jill quickly became my best friend as she gave me so much knowledge about what changes I would soon be going through. After my appointments I headed back to Orlando to join the family poolside!

As we were leaving the hotel for the girls next surprise we had a HUGE sidetrack. Lauren had to be rushed to the hospital for high fever, inbalance, and slurring her words. We finally found a hospital in Orlando and they treated Lauren for a sever reaction to BED BUGS! I was livid for my child being in pain and the fact that this was something that we could not have prevented!

We were able to get out of the hospital after an IV of Benadryl and tons of Tylenol just in time to make it to the final surprise for the girls. We made it to the ship for the Disney Cruise just in time to depart! The girls all had a great time and loved all of their surprises along the vacation!

Taking a vacation before the surgery was one of my best ideas I have had in a while! I loved spending time with my family and relaxing on the cruise!!

Happy New Year everyone! Today I am in Gainesville for my second chemo infusion. I know that I am jumping a little ahead but I wanted to be sure that you all had a great Christmas and a wonderful New Year. Remember to hold your family and friends a little closer and love the day you are living in!

Okay, back to the blog and getting you all caught up to today! I decided that Shands was the place that I needed to be for the best care plan. I would begin treatment the next week! I was scheduled to have 28 radiation treatments and would be on chemo Monday through Friday. The hardest part of this decision is that I will be four hour away from my family all week long. I was fortunate enough to have an amazing apartment to stay in less than five minutes from the clinic! Thanks Rachael, Connie and Wayne! :) I began treatment on July 29th. Scared to death I went in and realized that radiation did NOT hurt. The experience is so much like getting an X-ray for those of you who have had one... it just takes fifteen minutes! I completed the first three treatments and drove home to celebrate my 32nd birthday with family and friends that Saturday. I am so blessed!

For the next five weeks I would drive to Gainesville on Monday morning and have treatment during the week and drive back home on Friday to stay the weekend with Taylor and the girls! Sunday nights were so hard for me, because I knew I had to leave when I woke up. I was so upset to leave my babies! Mom and Lesley (one of my sisters) came down one week with the girls and spent the entire week with me! We had a ball! We stalked to UF football team until we were able to meet Tim Tebow! The girls were in Heaven!! They toured the stadium, campus, and Gainesville. Taylor came down and stayed as well. It is so great to have such a support team. Lauren would be starting third grade and Londyn would be starting her half day Pre Kindergarten classes on August 24th. Each night I would Skype the girls and Taylor to read them a bedtime story and tell them goodnight. One night Lauren shared that she wished she had two Mommies, one that could be here and one in Gainesville. She was upset because she would have orientation on a Thursday and she knew that was my day to be in Gainesville. So, being the Mommy that I am I drove home as fast as I could home after treatment on Thursday to surprise her at her orientation! I then went back down to Gainesville the next morning and back home after treatment. For the last two weeks I was in Gainesville, Rachael was back and in school. We had a ball as roomies. Dinner after ten at many of the Gainesville restaurants as well as MANY McDonald's nights! Makenzie surprised me the last week that I was there with dinner and an overnight visit! How awesome to have great friends!! Rach, Mak, and I stayed up until 3 talking, giggling, and reminiscing about the past. These girls are so much fun!

My last treatment was September 4th and I was counting down the days! I had great doctors and technicians the entire time I was there. They were so supportive of my needs for late Monday appointments and early Friday appointments. The biggest thing that I learned during this experience was that everyday that I went for treatment there was ALWAYS someone there that was worse off than I was. I would spend my fifteen minutes 'on the table' praying and thanking God for all of the blessings He had given me and beg for Him to watch over my family and friends.

At this point, I will wait to hear from Dr. Huang about when surgery will be scheduled. I think we should plan a trip!?