Happy New Year everyone! Today I am in Gainesville for my second chemo infusion. I know that I am jumping a little ahead but I wanted to be sure that you all had a great Christmas and a wonderful New Year. Remember to hold your family and friends a little closer and love the day you are living in!

Okay, back to the blog and getting you all caught up to today! I decided that Shands was the place that I needed to be for the best care plan. I would begin treatment the next week! I was scheduled to have 28 radiation treatments and would be on chemo Monday through Friday. The hardest part of this decision is that I will be four hour away from my family all week long. I was fortunate enough to have an amazing apartment to stay in less than five minutes from the clinic! Thanks Rachael, Connie and Wayne! :) I began treatment on July 29th. Scared to death I went in and realized that radiation did NOT hurt. The experience is so much like getting an X-ray for those of you who have had one... it just takes fifteen minutes! I completed the first three treatments and drove home to celebrate my 32nd birthday with family and friends that Saturday. I am so blessed!

For the next five weeks I would drive to Gainesville on Monday morning and have treatment during the week and drive back home on Friday to stay the weekend with Taylor and the girls! Sunday nights were so hard for me, because I knew I had to leave when I woke up. I was so upset to leave my babies! Mom and Lesley (one of my sisters) came down one week with the girls and spent the entire week with me! We had a ball! We stalked to UF football team until we were able to meet Tim Tebow! The girls were in Heaven!! They toured the stadium, campus, and Gainesville. Taylor came down and stayed as well. It is so great to have such a support team. Lauren would be starting third grade and Londyn would be starting her half day Pre Kindergarten classes on August 24th. Each night I would Skype the girls and Taylor to read them a bedtime story and tell them goodnight. One night Lauren shared that she wished she had two Mommies, one that could be here and one in Gainesville. She was upset because she would have orientation on a Thursday and she knew that was my day to be in Gainesville. So, being the Mommy that I am I drove home as fast as I could home after treatment on Thursday to surprise her at her orientation! I then went back down to Gainesville the next morning and back home after treatment. For the last two weeks I was in Gainesville, Rachael was back and in school. We had a ball as roomies. Dinner after ten at many of the Gainesville restaurants as well as MANY McDonald's nights! Makenzie surprised me the last week that I was there with dinner and an overnight visit! How awesome to have great friends!! Rach, Mak, and I stayed up until 3 talking, giggling, and reminiscing about the past. These girls are so much fun!

My last treatment was September 4th and I was counting down the days! I had great doctors and technicians the entire time I was there. They were so supportive of my needs for late Monday appointments and early Friday appointments. The biggest thing that I learned during this experience was that everyday that I went for treatment there was ALWAYS someone there that was worse off than I was. I would spend my fifteen minutes 'on the table' praying and thanking God for all of the blessings He had given me and beg for Him to watch over my family and friends.

At this point, I will wait to hear from Dr. Huang about when surgery will be scheduled. I think we should plan a trip!?

So, Mom and I decide that this adventure to Gainesville to meet the 'super surgeon' and her crew would be ours. Taylor stayed with the girls. We left the night of the 21st to spend the night and be ready for the 8:30 meeting with the surgeon. Good thing, with an almost four hour drive to Gainesville plus the time change we would not have been in any condition to meet with the surgeon if we left the morning of!! :) We find the perfect hotel, right on Archer... for those of you who are familiar with Gainesville, Archer is Main Street. If it isn't on Archer you will more than likely not need it!  hee hee. After NO sleep the night before and having to do a 'prep' mind you a much smaller 'prep' than previously stated before my appointment  we arrive at the surgeon's office at 8:30 on the dot.

 I meet Dr. Huang who was true to her information online. She is an adorable teeny tiny lady who obviously graduated top of her class because she just looks, speaks, and carries herself so well! The appointment starts with the basics, height, weight, why are you here, why did you choose me, and did you know the surgeon you have met with already is very well known for his abilities.... oh no, she just said that the other surgeon was very well known. Our conversation continues to the fact that she almost chose UAB over Shands and that she felt very comfortable with the other surgeon. Was I making a mistake by being here? She is suppose to be the BEST in the south and then some and specializes in sphincter sparing surgery.... this is what I NEED!!! I am so confused. Now, Dr. Huang asks to examine me. I am so used to this, check my neck, my armpits, my knees, my throat, etc, etc,  etc..... um, no, she had other plans for an EXAM......<insert scream, cry, wimper or all of the above here>. I am taken into a room laid on my tummy with my bottom up standing on my knees. I can already tell by the 'equipment' in the room that this was NOT going to be a pleasant experience.  So, it began, I kept telling myself that everything has an ending and surely this would too. Shands' is a teaching hospital so she was saying things to her helper (resident) see, there it is, yeah, oh yeah, it is big, and it is low, all the while I was hoping she was quickly making an exit plan for this exam. Thank God she was! From there I changed back into my clothes and gathered what dignity I had left and went back to the original meeting room where Mom was waiting. Obviously shaken, she asked are you okay? Oh my word, she had NO CLUE what the word violated meant and I had no idea how to explain it without sounding like a complete moron. I wanted NOONE to know what had just happened to me. I am quite sure there was no human who had ever gone through that torture without releasing extensive government top secret information... like the really good stuff!

Mom has been on the phone with Colleen and Laura (my new best friends in Gainesville) who do all the scheduling for the oncology department. Mom has directions for our day tomorrow, we have to go to another part of Shands and meet with two other doctors and meet with a tumor board, what is a tumor board? Here comes Dr. Huang back in to explain to me that the tumor is much lower than what she was expecting it to be and it seemed to be quite large. She was not able to promise me any sparing surgery due to the size, but wanted to meet with her colleagues to discuss a treatment plan for me. I would meet with the tumor board at 1:15 the next day to determine what treatment options we had. 

We went on back to the hotel to get a little rest and then decided we both needed a retail therapy. The mall was just down the road, lucky us!! :) That night we were both so nervous that we decided that we needed to get to bed early so we could be bright and sharp for the two meetings the next day, plus we had to meet with the tumor board- that just sounded scary. We began with our first appointment at the chemotherapist office, Dr. George. Our appointment was at 9 and were called back around 9:30, no big deal since our next appointment wasn't until 11:30. So we sat and sat and sat and sat. I think we were forgotten. We FINALLY met with a Dr. (resident) at 11:45 that day! This tiny little brunette comes in and asks me the same basic questions about why I am here, my history, all of which she is reading off my chart that I had JUST filled out. Each sentence she would say OK, and repeat what she said. I am not sure that she knows I have been here since 9 and felt just like I was playing doctor with my four year old but I was quite close to telling her! I was so not a happy camper. I despise waiting and could not believe the length of time we had been there. Dr. George finally comes in and I am then convinced we are in the wrong place! He looks like he MIGHT be 30, maybe, possibly, or 28... has he even graduated? He is suppose to save my life.... I am worried! Don't fret though, he tells me that I need to head straight over to the hospital for a CT scan since it had been almost six  weeks since my last and he is convinced by reports that I would have much more action showing up on my reports after that long with no treatment.... No, this day is getting worse fast! I still have to meet with another Doctor before the 1:15 tumor board, it is now well after noon and I have to get a CT scan?? He explains to me that my cancer is very aggressive, and is sure that my lungs and liver would be close targets. I DO NOT feel very comfortable right now. We have to check out of the hotel by 1, with the late check out I had called in after waiting on Doogie Howser and his parrot. I have to get a CT, and don't have time to get to the hotel in the meantime. So, I send my VERY directionally challenged Mom from the Clinic to the hotel to gather our things and check out. She does while I go to the hospital via the shuttle by myself for the CT.

Since CT is in the basement I have to walk by the chapel. I walk in and fall into the first seat that I find. How is this happening? I came here for the best treatment in the area. Now these doctors think there is cancer in my lungs and my liver and they aren't going to be able to do the sphincter sparing surgery I had hoped for my entire adventure. I sat and begged God for strength, guidance, and companionship. I knew Mom would more than likely NEVER find her way back to the hotel and IF she did getting back to the hospital the CT area where I was would be completely out of the question! I arrive at the CT area at 12:45, tumor boards are at 1:15. I am to drink a Gatorade solution for the color contrast that takes an hour to drink.... I am not a math whiz, but even I know these numbers are not adding up! I explain to the nice lady at the desk that the boards are at 1:15 and I have to be there to meet with the surgeon, oncologists, and other important people. She was not as impressed as I was by the term obviously. I was called back for the CT at 1:10, by 1:30 I was out and rushing back to the clinic hoping that I could find Mom somewhere before the board.

Luckily, with the help of cell phones, Lesley and Mom listening to directions she was able to find the hotel and her way back to the clinic. YAY Mom! I was so impressed. Now, on to the tumor board. We were told where to go which ended up being a basic exam room where each doctor came in and met with us individually. Dr. Zlotecky the radiologist oncologist was the first doctor who came in to meet with us. His appointment was the one that Doogie and the Parrot made me miss. He explains to me that the lymph nodes are of HUGE concern to him and those would be radiated just as strongly as the tumor itself. However, these types of tumors respond well radiation. Even 20 percent disappear completely after treatment. Wow! Good news finally, well except for the lymph node part that UAB told me no big deal about. After meeting with Dr. Zlotecky and his resident Dr. B we met with a nutritionist, a psychologist, a geneologist, a social worker, and then finally Dr. George was back. First question, what did the CT show, he was quick to respond that we were very fortunate that there were no other spots that showed up. Wow, after two hours of stress both Mom and I burst into tears and are happy! Yes, we have cancer, yes it is a big deal, I am more than likely going to have a colostomy, radiation, chemo, but it is contained!!!! Dr. George is actually the reason I made my final decision to go to Shands. During our conversation he tells me that if I did not get treatment within the next two years I would be dead! Wow, that is scary! Two years, Logan would only be two, Lauren, 10 and Londyn 6. I can't die, I'm a Mommy!

So, I needed to think now, what were my options right that moment. By now, Dr Z and Dr. George were both there, they agreed that I needed to start treatment. If I chose Shands I would be there Monday-Friday for 15 minute radiation treatments, would take Xeloda (chemo) by mouth the same five days twice a day for 28 days. They recommended that I go get tattooed for the treatment plan just in case I did choose them. If I didn't no big deal. If I chose Shands, treatment would begin the following Wednesday.