So, we meet with Dr. George to find out that he is extremely worried about the spots on my lungs. He previously dismissed them as childhood pneumonia scars and was now concerned that they were more since they have doubled in size since July and were now up to the size of a pea. All of this was disclosed to me while poor Rachael was in the room. Bless her heart she was trying her best to stay strong for me and I was watching as I saw the fear grow in her face. I think it was best that she was there since I felt I needed to be strong for her. Dr. George continued on to tell me that chemo was something that I needed to begin as quickly as possible in order to stay ahead of the game. The only catch is that the chemo can and will slow the healing process or cause it to digress to an unhealthy wound. So, now we are in between a rock and a hard place. Dr. George decides it is best to consult with Dr. Huang before starting the chemo to ensure she agrees with his decision.

Before chemo can begin I need to have a port installed. In order to do this I go back to Shands, for the procedure. I was explained the procedure the day before. A small quarter/half dollar shaped plastic piece would be inserted into my right shoulder area. From the plastic piece I would have a tube that would be fed into my artery and down into the largest chamber of my heart. OKAY??!! The next day I go into the procedure room (OR) where they tell me that I will be having the procedure done while I am awake. Hello, have these people ever met me before? There are about ten large screen televisions in the room for them to watch the procedure on but are in my plain sight! There is NO WAY I would be able to lay still for them to do this while I was awake. After explaining my concerns to the residents and attendees I am assured it is 'no big deal' and 'its done all the time.' Once again, they must not know little chicken me. I inform them that before any incision regardless of size is made on my body I prefer to be unconscious! The surgeon who must have read my chart and known how much of a chicken I am asked the nurse to begin administering the meds. Thank you God for a man that knows I would not have a problem getting up from that table if my needs were not met! :) This new attachment was rather gross to me. I remember specifically one night taking a shower and forgetting that I had it and screaming, 'Oh my gosh I touched it!' I was repulsed by the fact that it was attached to my body like some under the skin tattoo that some people choose to get.

Dr. Huang informs me that she is on board for whatever Dr. George thinks is best and that she is sure the wound will heal eventually regardless of how long that might take! YIKES! So, my first chemo is scheduled for Thursday, December 3rd. I would also have a chest X-ray done that day to check the status of the spots in my lungs. I was so nervous the night before I can't even remember going to sleep. I do however, remember the valium that I took on the way to the hospital to get my nerves under control. It didn't help much though! I was so wiped out from the medication I am sure that all nurses in the building thought I was a junkie!! I was terrified to have my port accessed, was it going to hurt? Would I feel it at all? Would the chemo (you know the toxic substance they were going to be injecting into my body via my heart) burn when it went in? These were just a few of my thousand questions I had running through my mind!!

I began in Dr. George's office to have my bloodwork done. Becky, Dr. George's nurse, who knew I was terrified accessed my port and said she would just leave the line in thus insuring I would not have to have it done again. After all the hype and drama I had created it really wasn't that bad after all! :) There was a small needle inserted into the port that felt no worse than an iv needle going in, minus all the digging around they do when they start an iv! From there I went down stairs to have the chest Xray done. Now is when I began wishing that I had not taken the Valium! I do not do well with medications as they usually overreact on my body. This was the case. I was not able to stand for any extended period of time without my legs turning to jelly and I am sure the nurses thought me a lush. I finished up down stairs and it was time to face the music of chemo!

I was taken from one waiting room into a triage room for blood pressure, weight and temp checks then introduced to my nurse, Pat. Ms. Pat quickly became my friend. She understood my fear and was extremely reassuring to me. As she began accessing the port we discovered that the line had clogged. This meant she would have to remove the needle and reapply a new one. OUCH!! I am sure that I called Becky a liar at this point amongst all of my fears! I bit the bullet and allowed her to access the port again with much ease and comfort she did. As each bag was given to me she explained what each was for. First, fluids, then premeds, then Benadryl.... then I don't remember much because I was fast asleep! After several hours of napping I awoke to a friendly smile from Ms. Pat telling me that we were almost finished that the chemo would begin now. I would only get Oxalyplatin for the first round. I am not sure that I spelled that right? To my surprise nothing hurt, I couldn't even feel the meds going in! Yay!!

Now, I get to go home and wait to see how my body reacts. Fortunately, I decide to sleep. I sleep for 48 hours straight and only awoken for food and meds. This isn't too bad after all, or is it? Round two would be coming up on New Years Eve!